


Easter on the South Lawn

by gr8escap



Series: Neighbors [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Political Animals
Genre: Easter, Friendship, Gen, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Smoking, White House Easter Egg Roll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gr8escap/pseuds/gr8escap
Summary: Steve and TJ attend the White House Easter Egg Roll





	

TJ walked across the typically pristine expanse of the White House’s south lawn, tucking a cigarette between his teeth, freeing his hand to adjust the fold of his shirtsleeve. Today was the White House Easter Egg Roll, and the grounds were broken into zones by little picket fences in some areas, posts with draped chains in others, outlining queuing stations and activity zones for the events of the day.

TJ shook his head, took a deep hit from the smoke, and blew it out in a curl around his face, never removing the cigarette from his mouth. Just a few months ago, he’d sprinted across this same expanse, chasing after Steve in a mad dash after sledding down the steps on the shield. Today was the day that he, Steve, and his mother had agreed they’d serve their informal sentences. In the grand scheme of things, they were getting off very light. Captain America and The President’s Son, TJ Hammond, would be presenting tales for Story Time on the South Lawn.

                _Truth be told, Steve had confided to TJ that he was very much looking forward to it. TJ still couldn’t believe it._

_“Are you serious?” TJ had groaned at the time, “Do you know what you’re getting into?”_

_“TJ, I spent months on the road, on stage. I can sit in a garden for a fifteen minute story.” Steve reassured TJ, “It encourages kids to read.”_

_“My family’s going to be there.” TJ shrugged, “My whole family.”_

_“They’ll be busy, and so will we.”_

So here he was. TJ looked beyond the lawn at those very steps to see Steve standing alongside TJ’s grandmother. Nana stood at the top of the steps in a lovely spring dress with splashes of spring hues complimenting her sunny smile. The two of them were talking and laughing at something. Nana seemed right at home, comfortable in _blatantly feeling up_ Steve’s bicep. TJ pulled the cigarette from between his lips and flicked ash on the lawn. He had the grace to feel just a little guilty. After all, the gardeners had been practically combing blades of grass, grooming the area for the festivities.

With the sun still low on the horizon, the sky was barely tinted with shades of spring similar to Nana’s dress, not high enough to ignite the few clouds with oranges and gold just yet. People were lined up outside the grounds, making a pretty springtime garden of dresses, shirts, and sweaters.

“TJ!” Nana called, interrupting TJ’s imagery, “Steve was telling me you were here. I almost didn’t believe him.”

“I was hiding. Just hoping to lay low, maybe I could get out of it. Figured if Steve could convince enough people that we came together, I’d be in the breeze.” TJ rushed up the steps, extinguishing his cigarette. “I just took the long way, hoping to avoid Mama for a minute longer and sneak a smoke. I believe I succeeded with both.”

TJ engulfed his grandmother in a hug as soon as he hit the second step from her.”

“Well, I’m glad you came.” Margaret said into her grandson’s neck.

“Coerced.” TJ rolled his eyes as he pulled away, grinning at Steve.

His eye roll was matched and exceeded by his grandmother’s dramatic reaction. “You both deserved it, and you know it.”

“Hey, I’d say, in the roster of “ _TJ fucks up at the White House_ ”, sledding down the steps is a footnote mention at best.” TJ stood beside his grandmother, his arm sure and firm across her shoulders. “You can’t really blame us, we had a _really good sled_.”

“TJ also had a _really bad_ enabler.” Steve confessed. “It’s been a lifelong curse, snow days and bored boys do not mix.”

“Well, the only disappointment you’ll get out of me is that you didn’t invite me.” Margaret grinned, squeezing Steve’s forearm with one hand and hugging TJ’s waist a little tighter. “Shh. Showtime. Here comes the boss.”

“I can’t,” TJ said under his breath, “I haven’t told you how radiant you look yet.”

“You cut that out.” Margaret grinned at TJ, patting his hip where her hand rested.

“I told you Maggie. You have to believe me now.” Steve added, covering her hand on his arm with his.

“ _You_ can keep it up.” Margaret squeezed Steve’s arm. “All day, just don’t stop.”

“Steve’s not going to be able to follow you around complimenting you all day Nana. He has Story Time.” TJ muttered before stepping away from her to greet his mother with a hug.

TJ stood beside _the president_ , just as he’d done so many times before. From one parent to the next, this was _really familiar territory_ , even though it would never be comfortable. He smiled through her address, flashing occasional looks at Steve and Nana. His smirks and goggling were met by stage smiles, which just made it harder to keep _his own_ stage smile in place. He _wanted_ to make them both bust up. He knew he was close when he felt his grandmother’s pinch on his side, which nearly pushed _him_ over the edge.

TJ stood straight, applauded his mother’s address, and waved along with the rest of the family as the event was officially kicked off.

“You’re a menace.” Elaine said to TJ with a fond smile as they turned away, before disbursing to the stations where each was scheduled to appear.

TJ grinned, hugged her briefly, and agreed. “Yeah, I learned from the best.”

“Well, I’m separating you and your grandmother.” Elaine announced. “Mother, you’re with me.”

“I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I’ll stay with the captain.” Margaret declined, leaning against Steve with a look that challenged anybody’s potential dispute.

“Nana, I don’t know if you have a choice.” TJ started.

“He’s right, you don’t.” Elaine interrupted, putting an arm across her mother’s shoulders, “Captain, this is one damsel you don’t need to rescue.”

“Oh, I don’t mind, Madam President.” Steve patted Margaret’s hand tenderly, “I’m sure I can keep both Maggie here, and TJ out of trouble.”

“Excuse me?” TJ asked, mouth agape, “If I remember correctly, you’re here for punitive damages as much as I am.”

“I’m not sure the three of you together is the best strategy,” Elaine considered, “Douglas?”

“Mom, I think they’re the perfect punishment for each other.” Dougie winked at TJ. “There’s a lawn full of citizens, volunteers, and security who will deter them from the worst shenanigans.”

“I can settle this.” Margaret gripped both Steve’s and TJ’s elbows, “I’m going to find the best spot from up here to watch, and you can all have _all the fun you want_.”

“Aww Nana, you’re skipping out?”

“Yes.” She grinned up at TJ and then at Steve, “I am, because I can. You didn’t invite me to your little sledding party, you don’t have to invite me to your storytelling atonement.”

Steve had the good grace to look chagrined, and TJ had to hand it to him, he could really pull off the Boy Scout look. “Well, when you’re right, you’re right.” Steve replied in an ‘ _aw shucks_ ’ kind of way. TJ rolled his eyes, wondering just which time he did so would be the time they’d stay that way.

“You’re just going to roll over? Seriously?” TJ teased, as he watched his mom and Douglas head off to make the first of several appearances.

“What else can I do? Your grandmother’s argument is sound.”

“You can start by _not calling me_ his grandmother. We know the lineage. ‘Maggie’ is perfectly fine, _captain_.”

“Right you are, _Maggie_.” Steve’s smile was impish and endearing.

Was he flirting with _Nana_? Clearly, he needed to get out more. TJ shook his head. “Well, if you’re abandoning us, don’t let us keep you Nana. Think of us out there slaving away, while you sit inside and – what is it you’re going to do again?”

“Copious amounts of _nothing_ TJ. Wallow in that.” Nana kissed him on the cheek. Have fun, both of you youngsters. If you meet any lonely, rich, handsome young men, send them up.”

“You know you have to come outside for that. There’s nobody getting past those doors.” TJ chided.

“You and The Captain could figure that out, right Steve?” Margaret teased back. “Go play your part boys.”

Through the reflection in the windows, TJ saw that Steve had the same eye-roll-and-smirk reaction that he did, which amused his grandmother. “We’re going. When Dougie comes back in, make sure you put him through the same paces.”

“Your brother doesn’t humor me like you do. That’s why you’re my favorite.” She winked, waving them off.

“She means that you know?” Steve said, adjusting the fold of his sleeves.

“She doesn’t.” TJ smiled. “It’s too late for another smoke, isn’t it?”

“Your last one wasn’t sanctioned.” Steve jostled TJ’s shoulder.

“I know. I managed not getting caught. You do know that _you’re_ her favorite, right?”

“She and I are great friends. I really enjoy spending time with her, but you’re her favorite _grandson_.”

“Don’t announce _that_. “We know the lineage.” TJ smirked before they both broke ranks, laughing.

“We’re back-to-back for Story Time. Which other activities would you like to pop in on first?” Steve asked.

“Hula hoops.” TJ nodded with a shrewd smirk on his face. “I think that’s where I want to go.”

“You don’t think I can manage a hula hoop?” Steve feigned hurt feelings.

“I should probably not say that standing at the top of these steps without a sled and some soft snow to catch me when you tos me down.” TJ laughed.

“Let’s go.” Steve chuckled, swinging an arm across TJ’s shoulders.

* * *

On the lawn, it was colorful, loud, and a very lively controlled chaos. Steve encouraged the kids to give it their best shot, purposely dropping his hoop comically whenever one of them seemed a little less than confident. He watched as TJ got down to eye level with one young boy, helping him with the placement of his hoop. TJ dramatically fell back and laughed when the kid swung his hoop upward. Steve laughed and then laughed harder when TJ lost balance and landed in the grass. He swerved out of the way of enthusiastic hula hoopers, and offered TJ a hand up.

“At least the grass isn’t wet this year.” TJ laughed, brushing blades of grass from his hands and giving his pants a once-ver.

“You’re good with them.”

“I’m one of them.” TJ winked. “Not ready to be in charge of _any of them_.”

“I understand.” Steve nodded. “I could use some water, should we take a small break?”

“Yes please.” TJ followed Steve from the cordoned off area, toward a volunteer with water and snacks. “Thank you for pretending you need breaks.”

“I do. I am human TJ.” Steve chuckled when TJ gave a sardonic nod. “I _am_. I need more food and water than you do.”

“Ok, that I believe.” TJ said after chugging some water. “Next up, might I suggest the cooking demonstrations? We’re only _required_ to entertain during Story Time, and we’ve already done our lawn photo op as a bonus. I’m sure doing a few things that _you want to see_ would be perfectly acceptable.”

“Are you sure? You see enough cooking demonstrations when I rope you in at home.” Steve wanted TJ to enjoy himself too, even though he couldn’t keep the interest from his voice.

“I think I’d like to see a _professional_.” Steve could tell TJ was _trying_ to be serious, but as he trailed off with the last of his dig with a faint giggle, it was obvious to both that he failed miserably.

“Yeah, let’s go compare notes.” Steve nodded, shoving TJ’s shoulder in the direction of the cooking demonstrations.

“So,” TJ started, walking alongside Steve, “what story did you decide on?”

“Stick and Stone, by Beth Ferry. You?”

“Stella Brings the Family, by Miriam [B.] Schiffer. Bullying?” TJ asked.

“Obvious?” Steve shrugged, “I thought it was a good choice. I saw your story while I was looking. I considered it.”

“Best let _The Gay_ read _The Gay Stuff_.” TJ shrugged.

“No, I wouldn’t say that.” Steve watched TJ, his posture and expression appeared vulnerable. “Anybody can teach acceptance. I think you chose a good story TJ.”

“I wanted to do something representative. Something that expressed the importance and _ease_ of acceptance, you know? Hey, if you read after me, you can cover for me by telling your story while I’m dragged from the garden.”

“I think I’ll just stand guard until you finish.” Steve answered. “Censorship and intolerance re just more forms of bullying.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” TJ’s smile was wry. “What will likely happen is nothing. For now. Then sometime within the next week or month at the latest, my mother will get a scathing complaint, which will miraculously find her, even beyond all the grateful notes, and I’ll be subjected to a phone call.”

“Give her the book.” Steve grinned. “As a gift, inscribe it with a preemptive note asking her to read the book before she decides you need to be brought in for questioning.”

“You’re sneaky more often than not.” TJ smirked, “I’ll do that, as long as I can put your book with it.”

“I think all politicians can use a reminder about bullying. It’s a deal.” Steve held a hand out to TJ to shake on it.

“Deal.” TJ laughed, shaking Steve’s offered hand.

Steve followed TJ through the labyrinth of people to stand on the edge of the area for the cooking demonstration. He wasn’t surprised that TJ went quiet. He was always respectful when Steve was showing him something in the kitchen. What did surprise him was TJ’s rapt attention in this case. He wasn’t ever sure if TJ enjoyed the tedium of baking, but thinking back, TJ always paid attention.

“You should have volunteered to d o a cookie decorating station or something.” TJ said at the end of the demo. “On second thought, you’d be there all day, sticky and hot.”

“It doesn’t sound inspiring.” Steve admitted. “I could sit in at one of the tables though. You could too, you’re getting pretty good.”

“Yeah, besides, they’re just kids with little spatulas and lots of sprinkles.” TJ laughed. That’s about my speed. and… now a cookie sounds good. You didn’t volunteer to make those thousands of sugar cookies did you?”

“Nope, so I can’t vouch for their quality.” Steve shook his head. “Want to go fake our way through a cookie demo?”

“Let’s do it.” TJ clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Shit. I hope my mom is watching this. We’re being such _great role models_.”

“Sometimes it’s better to do good deeds without expecting notice.” Steve bit the inside of his cheek to curtail his humor.

“You’re in the wrong business.” TJ smirked. “You may have a point, Jedi Rogers.”

“You learn well, young Padawan.” Steve jostled TJ and had to pull him back when TJ almost tripped over an escaped toddler. He managed to help TJ remain upright before any collision could happen, and they simultaneously agreed they should stop horsing around and make their way _carefully_ to the cookie tables.

Steve surveyed the South Lawn, which was colorfully pixelated with kids and parents, all dolled up for spring. It made a pretty, joyful picture, one he wouldn’t mind painting. Between helping kids with cookies and taking in the large crowds, envisioning a canvas full of paint recreating the image, Steve must have gotten lost in his own head. He looked up when TJ jostled his shoulder and asked, “you ok?”

“Yeah.” Steve smiled up at TJ. “You have purple icing on your cheek.”

TJ swiped at the spot, grinning. “I had help.”

“This has to be why I do it, right?” Steve asked, with a sweeping gesture across the crowded space. “When I get tired and jaded, I have to just think of these kids.”

“If that motivates you.” TJ sat down next to Steve. “We’re about due for Story Time. After that, what do you say we go hang out on the perimeter of the main stage – I mean The _Rock ‘n’ Egg Roll Stage_ – area?”

“It doesn’t mean the same thing to you, does it?”

“Steve, you're the kid my parents should have had.” TJ put his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Yeah, I see the importance. I hear what you’re saying, but I _don’t_ feel the same motivation. I _do see the joy_ and that I can get behind. I like the idea of entertaining people and making them feel this, but I also realize the importance of people like you, and Dougie. Even my parents, because joy’s only temporary if the every-day quality of living isn’t up to snuff. So, sure, it means _something_. That’s what counts, right?”

“How did you get purple icing on your cheek?” Steve asked belatedly.

“A very artistic young man was _very passionate_ about his cookie decorating. I might have encouraged a little excess – as I am known to enjoy.”

“As you should.” Steve nodded. “I was about to get offended if you instigated a food fight without me.”

“You woulda noticed.” TJ said, leaning forward on the chair, resting his forearms on his thighs. “I can’t start a food fight on the same day I’m serving a sentence for sledding down the steps.”

“No. That wouldn’t’ look good. Nobody really knows about that, right? I mean, outside of your mother’s office and the family?”

“No,” TJ laughed, “Although, like I told Nana earlier, it really is one of my minor offenses.”

“Mine too.” Steve admitted. “I mean there was that whole _Project Insight_ thing.”

“Right.” TJ nodded slowly, “Because saving the world, again, should go on your list of offenses. I don’t want to cause any trouble, and _trust me_ I would _never_ tell my mother, so how’s the search going?”

“Not incredibly favorable. For me, for him? I’m sure this is the plan.”

“One of these days, when everything is right with the world, I really would like to get some pointers from him. I thought I was good at not being found.”

Steve laughed in spite of the topic, “I’m sure you two would enjoy swapping derelict stories.”

“Is there anything I could do?”

“Just keep doing what you have been doing.” Steve looked at TJ, seeing _so much_ Bucky. “You know you aren’t a replacement friend, right?”

“Sure.” TJ shrugged. “I’d never even considered that. We can’t be too much alike.”

“More than you’d expect.” Steve nodded. “Come on. Let’s get this Story Time thing out of the way. Will you be performing on the Main Stage today?”

“Uh. No.” TJ shook his head, standing up next to Steve. “That’s not one of my obligations, or aspirations, for today.”

“I understand what you’re saying.” Steve really did get it.

“Are you ok with today?” TJ asked as they walked around yet more kids, people, barricades, and volunteers.

“Yeah, this isn’t the same as making some costumed appearance somewhere. People know who I am, ad I get to wear jeans and a button-up and enjoy the festivities. If you had anything to do with that, I want to thank you.”

“You know I didn’t. You’re the one who pretty much roped me into this with the “ _you know she’s right TJ_ ” business. I should have lobbied for having you in full uniform.”

“So you say.” Steve replied, taking two water bottles from a volunteer. “I don’t believe you.”

“Of course you’re right.” TJ toasted Steve with the water bottle he was handed. “Too many people already expect so much from you because of their idea of you, Everybody deserves to get to know who you really are.”

“Speaking from experience?” Steve spotted Elaine Barrish and her cluster of security entering the Story Time area. “You’re up, TJ.”

TJ looked up at Steve and then nodded toward the other end of the space. “Ok, here goes. It’s a good story. I shouldn’t be bodily dragged away, right?” TJ asked with a quirked brow.

“In ancient times, you’d be stoned.” Steve smirked.

“In not so ancient times, I’d be stoned.” TJ laughed.

“Hilarious.” Steve shook his head, a vague feeling of mortification had washed over him as he realized what he’d said, and when TJ joked it away with utter joy, he relaxed.

Steve watched Elaine greet TJ again, with another hug. That was something Steve hadn’t realized he missed. Hugs weren’t what people wanted from him, except for the occasional brave little kid. There were the select few outgoing kids that would run up and hug him. However, to hug somebody, to _be hugged_ by somebody, Steve sighed, filled with longing.

“ _…Mrs. Abbot had a surprise for the class!_ ” TJ read, ” _…We’re going to have a celebration for Mother’s Day,” She said, “and each of you can invite a special guest. Jonathan and Leon said they’d invite their moms. Carmen was sure her mamá would come. But Stella had two dads._

“ _Everyone else had a mother, Howie had two! Stella would be the only one without a mother at the Mother’s Day party._ ”

“Barring certain circumstances,” Steve jumped when he heard Elaine Barrish next to his ear, speaking confidentially, “you’re a good influence on TJ.”

“Thanks.” Steve glanced from TJ reading to a crowd of attentive kids, to the president. “He’s been a good influence on me too.”

“Are you two dating?” That wasn’t the president. That… was a mother.

“No.” Steve noticed a hint of disappointment in her reaction. “If TJ and I had the same interests, I wouldn’t mind dating your son. You wouldn’t know any women with his temperament and personality, would you?”

“I’m afraid TJ is one of a kind.” Elaine smiled. “It’s a shame. He deserves somebody like you.”

“He deserves somebody who cares for him. In that regard, we agree. He also deserves to make his own choices. Even after not doing so well at it.”

* * *

TJ looked up from his finished story to see his mother lean in to say something to Steve. What that could be ranged from problematic to downright annoying, but Steve’s smile reassured him that it couldn’t be too embarrassing. He hoped.

“I’d like you all to meet my friend Steve.” TJ said, standing up. “Some of you might have heard of Captain America, but when he’s not working, people call him Steve Rogers. I call him my friend and my neighbor. Steve has a story to share with you all today too. Steve?”

TJ smiled and clapped with the kids as Steve extracted himself from the conversation. They switched places, and TJ joined his mother while the kids continued applauding Steve.

“You're really Captain ‘Merica?” a small voice interrupted the ovation as Steve sat down on the white iron bench.

“I really am. Sometimes.” Steve straightened the collar of his pastel plaid shirt, looing almost comfortable in the spring setting, surrounded by flowers and children. He reached for his book on the bench next to him and started reading.

“What were you telling him?” TJ asked his mother quietly.

“I asked him if you were dating.”

TJ closed his eyes and took a bracing breath. Of course she didn’t even deny it. “Of course you did. You could have asked me.”

“What are you doing TJ?”

“Mom? I’m friends with him. I have no expectations, and as attractive as he is, you might not believe this, but we’re really good friends with zero awkward complications. Aside from family interference, that is.”

“The “two dads” story?”

“A book that I didn’t write. It’s a cute story for all kids, without any hidden meaning. I wanted to share something about acceptance and representation.” TJ lowered his voice. “You need to borrow Steve’s anti-bullying story and take a breath.”

He expected any number of responses. A cuff on the back of the head was least likely, given the cameras that were everywhere. Including on them and Steve right now, but a pinch or a stern word were absolutely within the realm of possibilities.

However, there was nothing but an odd look of consideration that crossed her face as TJ watched her out of the corner of his eye. He was shocked when she took his hand tenderly, and just held it, listening politely as Steve finished his story.

“We’re done with our obligations. Next up, we’re going to watch some of the entertainment on the Rock ‘n’ Egg Roll Stage.” TJ said quietly. Then whatever Steve decides he wants to do next, since this is his first Easter Egg Roll. Tell Nana and Dougie they should get out and enjoy the kids’ energy.”

TJ followed Steve out of the area, leaving his mom to her turn on the story bench. He should feel guilty about not staying to watch, but in the increasing heat and moments of frustration, she was an added trigger to his growing agitation, and he needed to break free from all of that.

“You ok? Steve asked as they cleared the area, working their way toward the outer edge of the crowd at the stage. “That looked intense.”

“I’m sorry about her, and her well-meaning questions.” TJ shook his head, “she accused me of using the story to – I don’t know where she was going with that, to be honest.”

“It’s ok. I just told her the truth.” Steve shrugged.

“You shouldn’t be in that position. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with a guy without having expectations, and I know you know that… she just knows how to push my buttons.”

“I do know that, and I thought I made sure she did too. I’m afraid it’s not either of our faults. She worries.”

“She doesn’t trust. I get it, I’ve betrayed too many trusts, but you?” TJ shook his head, “If you set her straight, why go after me? I guess she wanted to make sure I knew there wasn’t a chance.”

“She shouldn’t be doing that. That’s my job. If that were the situation, which we both know it’s not.”

“I hope she didn’t make it weird for you. I’d hate it if my mom ruined the comfort of our friendship. I don’t open up to too many people, and you’re one of them.”

“If she made any relationship unstable, it’s hers and mine TJ. I’m happy to leave it all back on that piece of lawn if you are. So, who’s next up on the stage schedule?”

“I don’t even know.” TJ admitted, flipping through his phone. “I just thought this would put us on equal footing. If you’d rather go to the sports stage, and I don’t know, play basketball or something…”

“You’re hoping I’ll say no.” Steve laughed, “what makes you think I’m going to be any good at basketball?”

“You’re all fit and superhuman. Doesn’t that make you good at basically everything?”

“How are you at tennis?” Steve countered. “I see you as a tennis kid growing up. Am I close?”

“I played a little.” TJ admitted. “Douglas is your guy, if you want competition. Or if you’re feeling nostalgic, there’s an obstacle course.”

“Nostalgic?” Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s the word I’d use for my feelings about my obstacle course experiences.”

“Ooh, do tell.” TJ goaded, folding his arms expectantly.

“Another time, when it’s not so hot, or loud, or crowded, let’s say the same for sports, ok? I like your idea of melting into the crowd and just listening for a while.”

* * *

Steve looked across the car to see TJ smiling. He smiled too. It had been a long day, but it was rewarding. “Any regrets?” Steve asked TJ.

“About today? No. Escaping without saying goodbye was just icing on the cake.”

“Even your grandmother?”

“You mean _Maggie_?” TJ teased, “You do realize she left long before we did, don’t you?”

“You're probably right.” Steve laughed.

“She was just there to see us get our comeuppance.” TJ continued. He leaned against the seat’s headrest. “It was a pretty good day.”

“It was.”

“How about you? Any regrets?”

Steve thought about the question, and nearly denied having any. He couldn’t do that to TJ, who was always transparent with him. It took the better part of the drive to come to the realization. As Steve steered the car into the parking lot of their building, he looked at TJ. “Regrets? I don’t have any regrets from today, but I did realize something this afternoon.”

Steve watched as TJ waited for him to continue, so many things came to mind, he was coming up short on the best way to express himself. He turned the key and got out of the car.

TJ walked around the car, leaning against the door next to Steve, holding a cigarette between his thumb and forefinger, “you mind?”

“No, of course not. You know? It used to be my mom and Bucky propping me up. I guess it just rubbed off on me a little late.”

“I don’t understand.” TJ said after lighting the cigarette and taking a bracing drag.

“TJ, I’m sorry if my being around your family today made you feel inferior. I’m even sorrier for negating your feelings by trivializing their behavior. It sucks that they still make you feel that way. There were several times when you expressed it, and I just passed it off. That’s not what friends do.”

“Yeah it is.” TJ smiled. “When that’s the appropriate thing to do at the time. Saying I was right wasn’t going to help get us through the day.”

“I just think… it really is shitty that you believe they’d be happier if I was…”

“It’s shitty that it’s true.” TJ laughed, smoke curling around his face, “I know they _love me_ , but they don’t understand me, never will. Forgiveness comes hard, and I really blew it, often. Steve, you’re a tough act to follow, but I’m trying.”

“You shouldn’t have to. I’m…”

“To them, you’re a legend. Not to me, to me, you’re the guy I got into trouble with.” TJ laughed. “The guy who basically warned me to never start a food fight without including him. You’re my friend.”

“Today wasn’t half bad.” Steve thought of all the colorful, smiling children, the fun he and TJ had stirred up in their unofficial volunteer cookie decorating and hula-hoop events. “Thanks for letting me drag you through it. You could have been hiding behind the doors until your required appearances, but you really put your time in.”

“I did no such thing. I hung out with you, if you had a good time, that’s what matters. I’ve never really seen it from that angle before.” TJ flicked ashes away from them and the car, tossing the butt at his feet. Grinding it out with his heel, he breathed the smoke out, and fresh air in. “When I was little, I would have loved doing everything we did, but I was always rushed inside _until the required appearances_. I had fun today. It definitely exceeded this morning’s expectations.”

“That’s what matters.” Steve echoed TJ’s sentiment.

“What’s still bothering you?” TJ asked, turning to lean an elbow on the car’s roof.

“Nothing.” Steve lied. Was it a lie? Nothing was bothering him, but he was still standing around as if things were in limbo.

“If you say so.” TJ shrugged, “You just seem to be pensive.”

“I would be continuing the crappy friend them if I said you’re cracked, right?”

“If you used that as an excuse, it would be pretty crappy. What’s bothering you?”

“I’m glad it’s over, but I didn’t want it to end.” Steve said before he could censor himself, “It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything remotely family oriented around a holiday, and it was good.”

“You know that’s not true, we did the gingerbread house at Christmas.”

“Well, when you’re right, you’re right.” Steve nodded.

“So, you’re stuck with me for yet another family holiday. I guess that makes it official. You’re an honorary member of the family. As such, you get the warnings ahead of time, because you don’t just _invite_ people into the Hammond clan without a great big neon caution sign.”

Steve laughed, feeling just a little less lonely. “I appreciate the red flags and flashing lights.”

“To seal the deal,” TJ pulled Steve into a hug. The kind Steve had watched TJ give to Maggie, the kind where you didn’t want it to end. How TJ knew that’s all Steve had been missing, Steve wouldn’t be able to say. When TJ pulled away, he hooked an arm across Steve’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s go inside. It’s getting cold out here without the sun. I’ve mastered my new coffee maker, and I have some of the treats you brought by yesterday.”

“Thank you TJ.”

“Any time Steve.”


End file.
